Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Hospice Time
As the curser blinks, waiting for me to type, there is flood pouring through my heart, my mind, and out my eyes. The clock on the wall hadn't crawled much past 6 on Sunday night when Lanita whispered to me, "I think it's time to go---to the hospice". The nausea had almost become unbearable along with the smells from cooking and the usual household noise. It is not an easy thing for a mother to say this and so the ball was put into motion. I ended going to the hospice personally that night and talking with the staff. She was on their list and it just so happened that one bed was available. Rather than move that night, she wanted to stay for the sake of the children. We called all the kids into our room for a visit to explain the plans. Two sets of brown eyes and one set of blue, looked with worry at their mother as she sat on the end of the bed and wrapped her arms around them. A tentative question is put forward to her, "mom, when will you be getting better?" The mother, in her quieter voice, answered, "son, I won't be getting better." Those words,...though real,...,and not spoken lightly,......are some of the most painful words that needed to be said. We explained what a hospice was and the type of care that Lanita would have so that there would be a little less fear. Children are perceptive though, but I am so thankful that we have a solid foundation and God is our rock. We took Lanita to the hospice at noon monday where we got her settled in. It is a wonderful facility and it great to know that 24/7 there are others there to help make sure that everything is taken care of so that burdens can be taken from us and allow us to just spend more time with someone we love. Lanita's mom & dad came back from vancouver Sunday night and Dad flew out of Calgary to Vancouver, where, the next morning, him and Brent drove here. All the family will be coming this week. Darren and Bethany ended up finally having the new arrival they where waiting for, a beautiful baby girl. "Ella Laurel Lanita Stewart", 9 pounds 13 ounces. This experience has taught me how far a few kind words can go and to be touched in a way that I could never imagine. It has caused me to only love my children more. I know I might repeat myself a few times, but, again, thank you for your open hearts. It gives a deeper peace and a deeper love. We have been muchly blessed and enriched.
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I'm crying as I read this. As I would read each post, I was feeling for you too Eldon, having to write such. So difficult and we so appreciate you keeping us up to date. I can't even begin to imagine each one of your pain, can't imagine as a mom telling your children what Lanita had to, can't imagine having my spouse so ill, can't imagine being the one having such an accepting, beautiful spirit... I'd probably fight bitterly.
ReplyDeleteWhat we have experienced is God's never ending generous comfort, His love that envelopes us and helps us through. His presence at those times feels very very near.
Sending more love your way.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.....
ReplyDeleteOh Eldon, I was feeling a bit of the flood that was going through you as I read this post. I had hoped so much for a miracle for your family, but it seems not to be. We're so thankful that you continued to keep all of us up to date, even though it must break your heart to write the words you've had to write. But we're thankful too, for the comfort and strength that God will give you and Lanita these last days. We think of you many times a day. Keep strong. We love you. Dallas and Paula
ReplyDeleteDearest Eldon & Lanita;
ReplyDeleteYou have both been in our thoughts and prayers. We had also hoped that a delightful miracle would happen that would allow Lanita to get better; however, I guess it is not to be. We just feel for both of you so much. We are so thankful for the comfort and strength that we can receive from God.
Love from Earl, Ann & Angela
Sometimes there are no words. Your family is facing what every other young family never wants to face, and you are doing it with such peaceful acceptance and dignity. Thanks for your care towards us, in sharing, and know that our prayers and love continue for you all. Love from Jason,Julie and kids.
ReplyDeleteEldon, Lanita & family,
ReplyDeleteEldon, thank you once again for the update. My heart aches so deeply at the thought of what you, Lanita and your little family are going through. We can be so thankful for a kind and lovely God that comforts like no other. Please give my love to Lanita-I love her very much and wish with all my heart I was able to see her. Our prayers are with you, Lanita and your precious children.
All our love, Eric, Sandra, Austin & Zac xoxo
You are all continually in our thoughts and prayers. So thankful for The One who will give you all the comfort and strength you need to get through this experience. Sending lots of love your way
ReplyDeleteDearest Eldon, Lanita and children, one wishes that by sharing this experience and spreading it among the many who love you and are affected by this, that we could lessen the hurt of what you all are going through. But how can even a 1000 hearts contain all the human feelings of sorrow and loss plus all the hopes, joy and peace that our Heavenly Father gives when we accept His will? Wishing you God's strength and comfort for these days as you draw out of them all you need to keep going in the future. And wishing these few feeble words could make any difference at all. With aching hearts and overflowing eyes,
ReplyDeletePaul and Norine Borys and family.
Words will never express our hearts! Know that we travel with you at this time although we are so far away! You are amazing in the strength you have, but we know where your power is coming from. continue to draw from that source! Love to each and everyone of you, from each and everyone of us!
ReplyDeleteJered and Elaine, Tyrel and Emily, Kaelyn, Alie, Luke, Hadley and Chloe
There are 101 things I should be doing but I can't stop staring at the screen, weeping. It just all seems too fast. But if Lanita is enduring life I guess it can't go fast enough.
ReplyDeleteThere is only One source of strength, hold on tight!
Rod, Julie, Ella,Lincoln and Georgia
Eldon & Lanita,
ReplyDeleteas I wipe away the tears after reading your touching words, I admire your strength and faith in all that is happening in your world. My heart breaks for your family. As a mom, I couldn't imagine how hard this has been for you to explain to your children and if anyone really understands why these types of things happen to such a young family. Lanita, I have only met you a few times, but you have always had this amazing strength and peace about you that I love! You welcomed me and my family into your home and I felt as though I had known you for years! I wish I could have gotten to know you more. I wish you all the peace, love and light as you continue your journey.
Eldon, I hope you and your wonderful children will find peace in this difficult time. As always, if we can do anything, please let us know.
Much love to you and your entire family!
Gerri, Greg, Brennan & Brady
Eldon & Lanita, like others have said words can not express the feeling in our hearts. Tears just pour down as I read this blog. I only know somewhat of what you are going through as we watched Netta pass into eternity less than 2 years ago. We can be so thankful that God is a God of comfort and you will feel his presence so very near. For Lanita, the best is yet to come! For you Eldon, take comfort that God will stand by us through each test.
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you all
Terrill and Deb Truman
Ours hearts are aching for you all.
ReplyDeleteall our love, Leah and Troy and family xx
Eldon & Lanita,
ReplyDeleteJust wanted you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers! You have handled this experience with so much dignity, courage and love.
A true example to us all of what submitting to God can and will do for us. Hannah felt so privileged to get a chance to visit! Wish we could have too!
With thoughts and prayers,
Kendall, Christine & family
Lanita, Eldon & family,
ReplyDeleteWe have been following the updates here, and, are very saddened, by this last, beautifully-written, entry.
Trevor, Angie, and Tanner Douglas
I feel moved to leave a comment even though you may not remember me. My family shared your terrible news with me a little while ago and then I was directed to your blog. I admire your ability to share with us when there must be such turmoil in your hearts. My heart feels heavy and there are tears in my eyes as I read this last entry. Someone once told me that it is possible to feel that sometimes God asks too much of us. I know, even when it doesn't seem true, that God has planned only the best for His children and that He is pouring out His love to you all as He guides you on this journey. With many thoughts and prayers going your way. Raphael and Julie Indermuhle
ReplyDeleteMay God continue to shower you with His love and in this unimaginable difficult time may you all find peace.
ReplyDeleteLove and prayers,
Christine and Tim
You dear, dear folks...
ReplyDeleteOur hearts and prayers are going out to you. "Be still and know I am God"... He will be with you and provide ALL each of you need.
Love
Keith, Sonnette, Henry and Daniel West
Wishing you all that can be done for all of you at this time. Thanks for the thoughtful update. I cant even imagine how it feels to be saying good bye for now, to a loved one. We are glad she is getting great care as she cared for so many children at RLC over the years.
ReplyDeleteSending you love and peace from the our hearts
Myles Jackie Reanna and Al Everett
Dear Eldon, Lanita, Caden, Damon, and Makaela,
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this post, way deep down, our hearts are aching for you.. It seems to have all happened so fast.. Our hymn #278 came to mind last night when thinking about your beautiful family. 'Oh for the peace of a perfect trust...' So thankful that your trust in God will be an anchor in the days that are ahead of you.
Much, much love,
reagan. andrea. dylan. emarie. jude tarves
Eldon and Lanita and precious children,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your updates. We enjoyed meeting you this summer on our way through Kamloops and having lunch with you all at Mark and Corinna's. You have a very special family.
We are encouraged by God's spirit that is in you and your wife as you journey through this experience. Our love goes out to your children especially for this experience that they are having to go through at such young ages. And to you and your wife as you face the hardest experience you probably ever have. Keep soft.
Love to all from Shawn, Jocelyn and Hanna Radom
I admire your strength and thank you for your updates Eldon which I now read with tears in my heart, and feel the distance that separates me from my younger cousin so much at this time. Even though I know you so little Lanita, I feel so much for you and what you are facing. Just so glad of our Saviour who will be waiting to welcome us all home when the day comes.
ReplyDeleteJust know you all have done your best and I hope you are given futher strength to continue in this journey. Sending love to you all.
Lanita's cousin, Joan Hart
It's so hard to put into words our thots' and feelings for you Lanita and also your little family and loving husband. We would love to come and just see you but that is not possible. Some of our children will come so that helps us feel a little closer. It seems surreal and that it's just a bad dream but we also know it's VERY real! Thank you for your visit this past fall with your family - they are growing up so fast. Just a little while ago you were out here for Elenor's funeral. So much has happened since. Just want you to know that you are in our thots every day. Lynn especially is so concerned for you knowing what you are facing. It helps him to cope also. We love you girls so much...just an extention of our own family. That's the way it was when you all were growing up. Jennifer is bringing Shalanne out I understand and Kathleen and Brad are leaving Hinton early tomorrow morning. Our presence goes with them in spirit and love. So good to be confident of our Savior and the keeping of the Spirit. God surely is good to us in ways that help us face these moments in life. You are well cared for by those around you and we all benefit from your spirit at this time. You help US more than we help YOU!!! Thanx for just being you. Pray that this experience will help others in their need...reminds us that time can be very short here and not to be taken lightly. Love to all. Wish we could be there! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoLynn and RoseMarie
ReplyDeleteEven if we don't know your family personally, we know about you from Sherri and Garth, We've been checking your blog since we heard about this experience you are going through. This post especially touched our heart deeply and we feel we have no words to express our sympathy and our love for Lanita and all your family. Thank you, Eldon, for taking time to share these things and your love and care for your wife. You are a wonerful loving husband and father. We pray that God would give you the strenght you need each day.
ReplyDeleteWith love, Gordon and Ivona Long