A time when some things mean less, Other things mean more...

It is now of an hour of when I should probably be turning out the the lights, but, I doubt that sleep would come quickly so felt that maybe I should try to rearrange some of the letter on my keyboard instead. As a little boy I remember my Grandfather giving me an old tire (almost the same size I was) to roll up and down his lane. It was really quite simple..Get it rolling, keep giving it a kick to keep it going, and then, watch with dismay as you stopped to have this heavy ol tire flop back down on the ground. Then you'd have to grunt like crazy to repeat the process all over again. Yes,sometimes being busy and having to keep alot of things rolling can be a blessing , but is the quiet moments though, where it seems your emotions will just sometimes, come crashing down. I never thought that it would be hard to pack a simple box. I took some of Lanita's old sweaters that I figured might as well get packed into a box and lets just say this..I won't be critical of anybodies emotional state as they do something like this. It is quite clear to one's mind that the reason you are doing it, isn't due to there not being enough closet space. The hole in your heart is definitely bigger than the one in the closet. As I held my wife's weakened hand this afternoon, I noticed how much shallower her breathing is and reflected on how different communication has become. She only seems to whisper or talk quite quietly but the words are few. I had to cry as I left today as I felt her use the extra of her strength just to simply squeeze my hand,  to force her eyes to stay open even though her body said no, and then whisper out the words, "I Love You".  Today she told me, "I'm just willing to now wait for whenever it is 'God's Time' and I can only marvel at the beauty of a canvas that is being painted with eternal brushstrokes. For some reason it seems to take so long, to write so little. It is also true that, yes, tough guys do cry, and without rain, we'd never see a rainbow. Goodnight for now, Eldon